Category Archives: Diners

Amy’s Got Some Nice Ommy’s

Amy’s Omelet House 10/4/15 – Long Branch, NJ

Sweet Jesus! I wish I had known about this place before a friend moved out of Pier Village in Long Branch. (less than a mile away) I would have spent many a hungover morning waiting outside the doors, holding my head in my hands, moaning in pain until a table was available. This place is the shit when it comes to omelettes. While my fiancé and I were scouting out possible venues to get married we decided to grab some grub so I Googled breakfast joints near me and Amy’s Omelette House was the first to come up. Honestly, I’m surprised we’d never heard of it before. It’s somewhat unique based solely on the insanely large selection of omelettes they list in the menu. The place was packed, but we decided to wait. (I’m usually impatient as shit when it comes to waiting at eateries.) The wait took about 15-20 minutes, but there were plenty of places to sit – inside and out. When I say packed I mean there was a constant stream of customers going in to this place. Mind you it was about 11:30am on a Sunday morning – can’t imagine what the place is like in the summer and don’t want to. The lobby had various games and shit to keep kids occupied during wait times. I gave my fiancé a quarter so she could hop on the spaceship ride and go to the moon. I distracted myself during the wait by staring at myself in a mirror hanging in the lobby, making sure I was looking good.

The combo of watching my future wife enjoy herself on the spaceship ride and staring at myself definitely made the wait short and sweet. Immediately upon sitting down our waitress came over and gave us menus, asked if we’d ever been there before, and proceeded to explain the enormity of the damn menu. If she hadn’t done this I would of sat there perplexed for an extended period of time in a mindless frazzle. I decided to get an egg white omelette with spinach and Swiss cheese, home fries, and corned beef hash. The menu lists a bunch of different ommys, but you can basically build an ommy with anything you want. I say god damn, god damn if it wasn’t a delightful meal. Bottomless coffees (coffee was okay), perfectly seasoned corned beef hash (not too salty) **Salt is one of my worst enemies and it should be yours too**. They also brought us out some rye bread, which I guess comes standard with whatever you order. The menu also had a lunch/dinner section…not sure what that’s like, but am certainly willing to find out.

The service was outstanding. Waitress came over and was very attentive to us. Service was fast and friendly. Amy’s is moderately priced. If you take your wife or significant other to this place you’re most likely looking at a $30 bill. You will not be wasting your money if you eat here. It’s definitely worth it. Not sure about the quality of the ingredients, but everything sure as hell tasted fresh to me. Christ knows they give you enough of it. I brought the leftovers I had to work on Monday and the scavengers in my office were asking what I had. I responded by pulling the Styrofoam container close to me and hissing at them. (Keep your hands off my food you grubby pig guts.) Nothing I could complain about in regards to presentation of food – I mean who gives a crap when you’re hungry? Only thing that I dislike about a place this good (and many other places like this) is the location. It’s almost got that small mom & pop feel to it, but then you realize it’s in a shopping mall which kinda kills the homeliness (?) of the place. I’ve only just discovered Amy’s, so not sure of the consistency factor, but if the crowd is an indication…people friken’ love it. I’m definitely going back.

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Le Peep at This Delicious Ass Breakfast

Le Peep – Edison, NJ – 10/2/15

It’s Friday…and on Fridays (because it’s pay day) I usually treat myself to a good breakfast/brunch at this gem of a dine in. They have a huge menu, but I get the same damn thing every time – the LumberJack Special; eggs, bacon, sausage, home fries and two pancakes. I get egg whites cause that’s how I roll. First off, I’ve only ever gone there during their peak business hours (11am-1pm) and get seated immediately – which is good because who the hell likes waiting when you only have an hour for lunch? I don’t know, maybe I just lack the patience.

Everybody has something they like most about a favorite eat-in. The characteristic I like most about La Peep is the consistency. I’ll be damned if this place doesn’t consistently make my LumberJack Special spot on…Every. Damn. Time. I mean, if I had a picture of this dish from the first time I dined there and compared it to the plate of LumberJack Godly-ness they placed in front of me on my tenth visit….you’d think it was the same damn plate of food. La Peep is one of those places that should advertise their dishes with photos because what you’d see is what you’d get…deliciously prepared and simply presented food. In comparison, if you were ordering at a fast food chain like McDonalds you’d select from the options listed – with photos – from behind the counter. What you get looks like a crackhead version of what’s in the photo. Damn, someone could probably get rich off of letting those fast food CEO fuckheads know the doctored photos are doing them harm.

Okay, enough with the extreme visual observations!! Back to describing the meal; the LumberJack Special. It includes; eggs, bacon, sausage, home fries and two pancakes. Everything is as fresh as fresh can be. Eggs like they’re right from the chickens ass. They offer to substitute turkey in place of pork sausage and bacon. (For all those health freaks out there). The home fries are bangin’. They take a fresh ass potato, cut into cubes and season that shit perfectly with salt and parsley. I’m talking every…damn…time I get this, it’s fucking perfect. Actually, it’s making me kinda hungry right now that I’m thinking about. (Mind you that I’m writing this about breakfast food at 7:20pm)

The service is pretty damn solid. Same ladies every time I go in there, and I know damn well they are there often because they speak to regulars like they’ve known em for years. Like they’re fuckin’ neighbors and there’s still a sense of community up in that shit hole known as Edison, New Jersey. They had a sign in the window for hiring waitresses, and I noticed a job requirement was happiness. Lmao. Good business model; only hire happy workers.