Category Archives: Delis

Fuck Roosevelt’s

Roosevelt’s Deli & Catering – Fords, NJ 7/12/16

Fuck this place. We’ve ordered many a time since the last time I wrote a review about it, and every time has been a miss. This place fucking blows. I fail to understand how my co-workers can constantly order from these same shitholes. Can’t take it any more. This will be the last time I order from this toilet bowl of a deli.

I ordered a veggie egg white omelet and I got a fucking turkey egg white omelet. How the fuck do you get turkey from veggie? And to top it off….why of all the fucking omelets on the planet would you mistake someone wanting a TURKEY omelet? Has anyone in the history of mankind ever ordered slices of fucking turkey breast in an ommy? If they have then that is one sick fucking individual and belongs in the same toilet that my meal this afternoon came from!

turkey shit

Here’s a funny story about the same veggie omelet I ordered back when I first started at my office. I asked for a veggie omelet with egg whites – thinking they know to make the ommy with egg whites. Instead they make me an ommy using whole eggs, and send me a side off egg whites. I shit you not! I was happy I got a free meal at that point in my career with my company, but the fact that I got enough eggs for two days worth of breakfast!!?!?! Well, it was spectacular.

On top of them fucking up my order this manager in the office ordered soup. Now….this guy NEVER orders anything whenever we get food. Today though he couldn’t resist the urge to take part of our never ending struggle to obtain free lunch. Welp…you guessed it folks…they just straight up didn’t bring his soup. The admin that orders the lunches called them up to let ’em know they fucked up. I can’t wait for this delivery guy to get here. I’m going to question him as to who the fuck is taking the phone orders – or did they outsource that fucking job to India? Or what’s the deal with the cook’s reading skills. Does he not have the ability to correctly read orders so he just comes up with the most RANDOM, disgusting types of ommys his brain can shit out?

Okay, so I didn’t question the guy that dropped the food off. As a matter a fact he seemed a little timid. I’m not sure if he was the same delivery guy. Didn’t want to make him feel like shit….only want to make the person taking the orders and the cook feel like shit…a.k.a the food that was delivered earlier. So excited at the prospect of a freshly cooked ommy that the chef probably prepared carefully, but no….instead I get the brown fucking eggs picture below.


Ate only a third of it before I became disgusted and threw the shit away. Note; manager walked by my desk. Told him I was typing up a review for Rudeberts Reviews and he commented that the soup they delivered was cold. Really? Even on a 100 degree day they manage to fuck up soup? Fuck Roosevelt’s.


I got no beef with corned beef.

Roosevelt’s Deli & Catering – Fords, NJ 3/16

I’ve just come to call this place Rosie’s at this point. Felt like ordering a special today; Corned Beef Rueben. Damn, I know Roosevelt’s menu is mostly the regular old American slop, but they should really consider keeping this sandwich on the menu year round. It was kind of small, but still filling…not too filling, but enough to make the hunger subside. I grow weak ’round noon time…low blood sugar. Diabetus. Rosie’s is definitely my favorite of all the places we order from when it comes to good ol’ American slop. They sure as hell did the Irish justice with this corned beefed sloppy.


The sandwich cost $6.95 and was on their special menu. It came with a small piece of Irish soda bread was equally as delicious. Sweet, soft…like my lovely ass wife. My co-workers are beginning to understand when I like something we order…I must have said aloud how good the sandwich was six times. One of them got the same thing, and also thought it was good. Delivery time was good today. I guess other local businesses are tired of the slop they serve, and they weren’t as busy. Seems Rosie’s has no beef with the corned beef, so definitely get your fill of this sloppy before they take it off the menu. Otherwise you’ll have to wait until the next time America celebrates Irish heritage by feeding cattle nothing but corn. (Update; just realized that’s not how they make corned beef…and that apparently it’s an American-Irish dish)

Side note; would of been sweet if the delivery person was dressed as a leprechaun to further show their support of Irish-American heritage. Open mouth smile for this one bitches!


Roosevelt’s Deli, Catering, and Inconsistent Foods

Roosevelt’s Deli and Catering – Fords, NJ 10/23/15

Nothing like a free meal from the same place once a week. There was a vote in the office for ordering today and  no one really cared…so the guy that initiated the vote just decided on….you guessed it!!! The good ol’ hit or miss quality of Roosevelt’s!!! Damn. It’s Friday, and usually on Fridays I head over to Le Peep (which I’ve previously eaten/reviewed) however I felt like saving the money today because I’m getting married and need to save any and all ways possible.

Breakfast is my favorite meal and I’ve never gotten it from Roosevelt’s before. This temp that worked in my office would always order it, he’s gone now…but the insane amount of items he’d list he wanted from wherever we ordered will live on in infamy.  Co-workers went into the kitchen before me to get their food. One remarked that he’d happily help me with the turkey bacon (I guess it looked appetizing to him). Not gonna lie, from my perspective the turkey bacon looked kind of disgusting. I’m talking quality here. It also looked kinda undercooked (good thing he volunteered to take that shit off my hands – hate wasting food) First off, it was kind of oddly colored – guess it’s all the leftover parts of the turkey crammed together into a thinly rectangular brick of meat slop thinly slice to represent actual bacon. The order took a little longer to get here than usual, which – whatever who cares. I find breakfast is something you should really sit down and order, not get delivered. I figured the food was going to be cold which I was right about. This didn’t help the bacon situation. First piece I picked up was slathered in a nice layer of grease or oil. It wasn’t crispy – as I said it was kind of undercooked – if that shit aint somewhat crispy then get it away from me (snobby fuck when it comes to my bacons). So here you have a product that’s so far; disheartening to look at, undercooked, slimy, and cold. Sounds amazing (sarcasm). I ended up eating one and a half slices then giving the rest to the co-worker that remarked if I needed assistance eating it he was the go to – all your buddy. (low standards). The rest of my meal wasn’t too bad. I got the veggie omelet (peppers, onions, and mushrooms) it came with toast and home fries. Just like the bacon everything was cold. I enjoyed the omelet, home fries and toast. The best parts of this meal were; A) None of the food was wasted C) the eggs, homefries, and toast only cost 5.95 without the bacon. Couldn’t find the listed price of the bacon as a side. Guess their menu could use an update or twelve because after checking the menu out I realized the grilled chicken sandwich I usually get isn’t on there either.

Roosevelt’s Deli & Catering – Fords, NJ 10/13

For some reason my work place enjoys ordering from the same places consistently even after I bring them menu’s from faraway lands promising new endeavors for lunch. Damn, Roosevelt’s again?  Who’s going to pass up free food though, ya know? I went with the health conscious decision of ordering a grilled chicken sandwich with lettuce, tomato, and onion (I’ve ordered this from here before). Damn it, every fucking time I order it I’m biting into a piece of chick filth. Fat, cartilage, purple veins and all that lovely shit. I hate that. What’re the odds of the guy grilling the damn chicken of seeing those parts and cutting them off so I don’t have to spit a mouthful of chicken shit into the garbage can next to my desk in my office? I’m not asking for filet mignon of chicken breast here, but god damn it…could ya fuckin get with your supplier and save one of these fine chicken specimens and throw it in the fuckers face so he knows not to send you that in the next bucket you order from him. The roll was good – fresh…same with the lettuce, tomato, and onion. Good news is the order was larger today because of an in office meeting…food still manages to get here in a timely manner every time. Typical hit or miss shit of Roosevelts.

Roosevelt’s Deli & Catering – Fords, NJ 10/7

We’re ordering lunch again in the office and today we’ve chosen the hit or miss quality of Roosevelt’s Deli and Catering. We’ve ordered from here many a time, and sometimes the food is good and sometimes it just sucks. (Consistency factor of zero). Today I’m playing it safe by ordering a grilled chicken ‘italiano’ salad. (I mean come on!!! no one’s dumb enough to fuck up a salad!).
Welp…just got my salad and gotta tell you so far I’m not impressed…and I don’t think the Italians would want an atrocity such as this dish that sits before me representing their heritage. My coworkers on the other hand like everything they ordered – that’s usually the case with them. (similarly to Jimmy McMillans political party, I guess my standards are just too damn high). They list it as just a salad in their menu, so none of the components are really cut up into small pieces as would be in a chopped salad. Still though, you’d think the damn person preparing this easy ass meal would be smart enough to cut the ingredients up into smaller ‘one bite’ edible pieces. Components of the ‘italiano’; Chicken – cut into strips longer than my schlong. Tomato – chunks (almost like they took a whole tomato and just quartered it.) Cucumbers; I could literally take one of these fucking cucumber slices and use it as a frisbee outside. The portabella mushrooms appear to have been slathered in a ten gallon jug of olive oil and lightly fried. The roasted red peppers are right from the jar  – pickling juice and all – adding to the nice, thin, wet layer of iceberg lettuce on the bottom (some cut into chunks – not as soggy as the single leafs saturated in mushroom/pepper oil). Nothing says shitty salad like iceberg lettuce. (Not too sure why the most common and liked fruits/vegetables by Americans are also the worst when it comes to nutrition levels; ex; iceberg lettuce, red delicious apples, etc.) The thing that really stands out about their salads – taste wise – is the croutons. I honestly can’t tell if they’re cut bread baked in an oven, or from a bag, but they appear to be fried then lightly salted. This adds a certain level of creativeness to a salad that otherwise looks like everything was carelessly thrown in a container piled on top of one another – kind of like the compost heap in my mother-in-laws backyard; some rotting vegetation some fresh. Overall, the ingredients aren’t bad, but they sure as hell could be prepared better.
I can’t really review this place from a cost effective perspective because it was on my company. However, knowing that this place is hit or miss I probably wouldn’t buy a meal here myself…unless I had nowhere else to get a quick bite, or it was more convenient than other choices. I’ve had many experiences with this place as is evident from the opening sentence of this review. There have been 1 or 2 instances where what I’ve ordered was really good, but all the other times kinda sucked. I’ve also gone to the deli myself to get some soup (which was just okay). The place gets a helluva lot of business I can tell you that much. When I walked in every table was full and there was a line at the register. So obviously, people like their food. Then again it could just be a convenience factor (driving by, easy access, quick delivery). The crowd in the joint was mostly contractors or blue collar workers. Show me a blue collar worker that doesn’t like deli food (regardless of quality) and I’ll show you…nothing. Hopefully – like the italiano salad – Roosevelt’s isn’t meant to reflect the great leadership of Teddy Roosevelt…because this place sure as hell is not a leader in the deli category for me.