Category Archives: Barber Shops

Shitty Barbers

City Barbers – Marlboro, NJ – 2/6/16

I don’t have much of it, but damn my hair grows fast. Feel like I just got a haircut a week ago. I was grocery shopping over at CostCo, and thought I’d stop here to get a haircut considering they do a pretty good job usually. City Barbers is a newer haircut chain that – to me – has only been around for about a year. I’ve gotten cuts at the one in Freehold, NJ and this one, but damn….I had such a shitty experience this time I had to write about it.
First off, before I go bashing them, I want it to be known that this place gives a quality cut for 12 bucks. I only stopped going because there isn’t one in close proximity to where I live, and their business grew exponentially (increased wait time every time I went there). There have been several occasions I’ve walked in there seen an absurd amount of people waiting and immediately walked out (no patience whatsoever). I just happened to be in the area and thought I’d kill two birds with one stone.


The place wasn’t that crowded. They have one of those ‘take a number’ machines and a sign they change the number on (like a deli in a supermarket) indicating there’s some type of method to the madness…but not this time. So I take my number – 34 – and have a seat. Loddy dah…waiting patiently, 20 minutes go by, and in walks this lady with 3 or 4 kids. One of the children that walked in with the lady asked if they should take a number – to which the mother responded no…AND told the child they were number 28. The counter was on 24 at the time. To me this is just a typical asshole of NJ raising her kids to be bigger assholes. Let me get this straight – you walk into a room where there’s about 10 people waiting for a hair cut, and when your kid asks if you should take a number…you tell her no? What the fuck are you thinking? I wish there was another mom in the place patiently waiting with 4 kids that would knock you out and shave your fucking head with a straight razor, scalp ya like a fuckin’ native american and let out a war cry warning all other assholes in close proximity that if you double cross people that have ‘manners’ or any sense of decency you’ll be scalped as well. Don’t worry, it get’s worse!! When a chair finally opens up she tells her kid to go!!!! and the guy running the joint doesn’t even acknowledge it!!! but wait!!!! IT GET’S EVEN BETTER!!! The lady’s husband walks in, and starts conversing with the guy running the place in Russian. Maybe they know each other? Not too soon after the father sits down the guy running the place calls him over to his chair!!!! WHAT!!?? In front of 10 people that have been sitting there waiting for a haircut and taking numbers? are you fucking kidding me?! The guy walks in, you have a few words of conversation with him in Russian, and give the fucker a haircut in no time? Maybe the guy running the joint just doesn’t like Americans…he loves taking advantage of the capitalistic model in America that allows him to run a profitable business which otherwise if he did in the motherland would be controlled by the MOB or under some other Commy influence.
Some of you may think that I should of just said something and all would of been resolved, but there were a few other issues while I waited. There were four people cutting hair -‘hair technician’- (ha). After each time they got done cutting someones hair they’d take a break for about 10 minutes. I kid you not – 10 minutes. One lady finished cutting some dudes hair and disappeared to a back room (probably some torture area for people that actually tough out waits in this joint). By the time she came back another ‘hair technician’ had finished and took a smoke break in the front of the business. How the hell could you allow this? If you have 10+ customers waiting for a service – wouldn’t you strive to serve people as fast as possible to reduce wait time and improve satisfaction? Bottom line is after heard/saw this all go down I got up from my seat, took the number out of my pocket, walked up to the front desk with a smile on my face, placed it on the counter and walked out. I’ll never be going back to this City Barbers again thanks to the poor decisions of everybody involved; Mom & Dad assholes raising there kids to be bigger assholes, ‘hair technicians’, the guy running the place…and myself for actually thinking I’d be able to do something productive on a weekend afternoon in NJ.