Roosevelt’s Deli & Catering – Fords, NJ 10/7

We’re ordering lunch again in the office and today we’ve chosen the hit or miss quality of Roosevelt’s Deli and Catering. We’ve ordered from here many a time, and sometimes the food is good and sometimes it just sucks. (Consistency factor of zero). Today I’m playing it safe by ordering a grilled chicken ‘italiano’ salad. (I mean come on!!! no one’s dumb enough to fuck up a salad!).
Welp…just got my salad and gotta tell you so far I’m not impressed…and I don’t think the Italians would want an atrocity such as this dish that sits before me representing their heritage. My coworkers on the other hand like everything they ordered – that’s usually the case with them. (similarly to Jimmy McMillans political party, I guess my standards are just too damn high). They list it as just a salad in their menu, so none of the components are really cut up into small pieces as would be in a chopped salad. Still though, you’d think the damn person preparing this easy ass meal would be smart enough to cut the ingredients up into smaller ‘one bite’ edible pieces. Components of the ‘italiano’; Chicken – cut into strips longer than my schlong. Tomato – chunks (almost like they took a whole tomato and just quartered it.) Cucumbers; I could literally take one of these fucking cucumber slices and use it as a frisbee outside. The portabella mushrooms appear to have been slathered in a ten gallon jug of olive oil and lightly fried. The roasted red peppers are right from the jar  – pickling juice and all – adding to the nice, thin, wet layer of iceberg lettuce on the bottom (some cut into chunks – not as soggy as the single leafs saturated in mushroom/pepper oil). Nothing says shitty salad like iceberg lettuce. (Not too sure why the most common and liked fruits/vegetables by Americans are also the worst when it comes to nutrition levels; ex; iceberg lettuce, red delicious apples, etc.) The thing that really stands out about their salads – taste wise – is the croutons. I honestly can’t tell if they’re cut bread baked in an oven, or from a bag, but they appear to be fried then lightly salted. This adds a certain level of creativeness to a salad that otherwise looks like everything was carelessly thrown in a container piled on top of one another – kind of like the compost heap in my mother-in-laws backyard; some rotting vegetation some fresh. Overall, the ingredients aren’t bad, but they sure as hell could be prepared better.
I can’t really review this place from a cost effective perspective because it was on my company. However, knowing that this place is hit or miss I probably wouldn’t buy a meal here myself…unless I had nowhere else to get a quick bite, or it was more convenient than other choices. I’ve had many experiences with this place as is evident from the opening sentence of this review. There have been 1 or 2 instances where what I’ve ordered was really good, but all the other times kinda sucked. I’ve also gone to the deli myself to get some soup (which was just okay). The place gets a helluva lot of business I can tell you that much. When I walked in every table was full and there was a line at the register. So obviously, people like their food. Then again it could just be a convenience factor (driving by, easy access, quick delivery). The crowd in the joint was mostly contractors or blue collar workers. Show me a blue collar worker that doesn’t like deli food (regardless of quality) and I’ll show you…nothing. Hopefully – like the italiano salad – Roosevelt’s isn’t meant to reflect the great leadership of Teddy Roosevelt…because this place sure as hell is not a leader in the deli category for me.

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